Why? I guess I need some old comfort. This song can be included in the soundtrack of my life. It nursed me a lot in my teenage days. I wasn't a cheesy teen but I did love this song. So I go back to it. Seeking for signs of myself, since I haven't felt like myself in the past few days. Things have felt surreal, everywhere...............I was already sad about the hurricanes before California caught on fire, not even a week ago.
As some of you know, I am in the fire area in Northern California. My county is Lake, and it neighbors Napa County. Also neighbors with Mendocino County. There are active fires in both of those counties, as well. Those are the ones that could potentially come this way. In my opinion, they are all very close. If I were in certain towns here, I would have left by now.
When it comes to fires, I don't know how many records I will get to see. When Valley Fire happened here in 2015 it was a record-breaking firestorm. I think it took 3rd in California history rank, EVER. It is used as a reference to describe these current fires. But the current fires already have gained the title of worst ever in California history...the number one spot! :(
The one here in my county is mostly under control (I hear) but from South and North of us there are major fires about to merge and headed this way. It's hard to tell when winds happen, where the fires will go. So the best are guesses and even though these people are experts, they are seeing things that are new to them also regarding fire behavior. So I just become over-anxious, no matter what I do or how much I try to talk myself out of it. I'm not suffering for me, I am suffering for all the life lost which is mostly animals that are not even counted or mentioned. I nearly die knowing that all kinds of situations happen and animals are left behind or can't escape the path of the fires. I've seen things I don't want to mention. I bet you can ask any firefighter, they might tell. I bet they see so much sadness. I don't know how they are equipped to deal with these situations, over and over again. I have seen only a couple of fires, less than a hand-full in person, and I am not only PTSD about it but I'm tormented anytime I hear about an out of control fire, anywhere. I cry, I get anxious, I get consumed wanting and not wanting to know the stories and the development. I want to both know everything and know nothing. I want to be there helping and I want to move into denial and pretend it's not happening.
That's that and I will write again soon. I'm not in danger. A lot would have to happen for my town to be in danger. Not impossible, so I am watchful.
The days have been lovely. Not too cold, not hot. I am sluggish, still undergoing the process of adapting to the sudden change in temps and weather patterns, new positions of sun and moon, not having the energy for all the little things spread all over the place (literally so), in need of my attention. And I don't feel like any of it. I just feel like watching movies, painting when something pops in my mind, sleeping and eating.
Got new sketchbooks and loving the loose painting exercises I've been doing. By doing that I think I got a technique down that I was trying to "perfect". I also have painted enough animals that I am confidently able to depict an animal in a nice way...mostly the fur is what I was trying to practice doing...I had been avoiding doing animals for a very good while because I wanted a very specific look to show on the fur...it's okay now, I can proceed.
Working on commissions, as well as more art for eBay, which hopefully keeps bringing some money flowing and my practicing the skills I have slacked on and sometimes just plainly lacking. I need to wake up! Today I shall try making lemon poppy seed scones!
On eBay right now, the 2 pieces below and they end this evening. CLICK HERE
I'm putting up a nice Frida original today...you should really check it out later.